Vocal Point | Kids Serve Too!

hi I’m Molette Green welcome to another
program in our ongoing series vocal point today were honoring a group of people
who are largely invisible yet serve and sacrifice for
our nation every day they are paramilitary children they
carry the burden of Inc separated from their parents not knowing
when or if their loved ones were overturned and often their parents come home with some
sort of mental or physical injury that can affect the entire family paramilitary children prepare for and
deal with deployment and what resources are available to help military families call open stay
strong joining us today bar for Thompson
director at the office a family policy children
and youth she oversees child development and youth
services for the Department of Defense tammy’s more is the armed forces
representative for the American Red Cross she is a military wife in has been
nationally recognized for her work with military personnel and their
families paulette Hubbard program manager for the Marine Corps
family advocacy program a 20-year veteran the Marine Corps Paulette is now working
on a PhD in social work at howard university and a niece at
Davis a Navy wife with two school-aged
children whose husband is currently serving at the Naval Air
Station impetus in river maryland today on vocal point kids served to the effective deployment on children of
military families them fact think sent Sept 11th 2001 the United States has deployed over two million military
personnel to Iraq and Afghanistan alone 42 percent of them leave behind spouses
and children in fact they’re almost two million
children with parents in the military over two hundred
thousand of them have a parent currently deployed in more
than 700,000 have already live through one or more
deployments military children deal with high amounts
of traumatic transitions like frequently moving absent parents do too deployments and
surviving parents post deployment challenges like physical
injuries post-traumatic stress disorder and death
there are some 20 military installations in this area so DC Maryland and Virginia have their
fair share up military children today we look at
ways to support the children to make sacrifices for our country
alongside their parents you want to thank olive
you for joining us today for this discussion I want to start by giving an overall
scene setter what life is like for our military children and Paulette I wanna go to you
first because a eat you were raising children at a time
when you and your husband were both servic tell us what life is like
for children the children is frequent moves old
research shows that children military children a change schools 609 times throughout Afrique kindergarten through twelfth
grade arm so there’s a lot of are detached retina reattached the Prince difficulty some time some
children adjust very well with aren’t the moves in then other times
they don’t just so well so they have to be I make new friends having teachers in
schools and the environment and constantly making that adjustment has
appearance of I resided did and for both mommy and
daddy out serving at and we thank you for your
service but we have to think about your children
who had to say goodbye %uh at too many times for a child
fortunately for us we at the time I under four stab at the
time fortunately for us we never had to deploy be away from the kids at the same
time on but what the military requires is
that a single pair turtle f2d parents have to have a family care plan in place
in that plan intel’s who take care to children case
in the event that on Sunday we both had family support
family support is a huge really important aren’t too happy especially when you have to active duty
yeah and soul for furry for you guys a niece and Tammy
being the the military wives to to the war at home
um the challenges are still great even
though there are support services a in place %uh for children there’s a
lot to deal with they can’t intellectual lies like the big guys can like the
adults can and it’s tough on them right there’s there’s a lot that goes with
that fortunately with the american recross whose am
founding mission is one of providing care and comfort to know a members our nation’s armed forces
their families and veterans I’m we have a community education
program and that we take to a military families
and communities all around the country that talks to them about the Red Cross
services that they can expect her before the deployment even occurs
it’s called get to know if before you meet us and that’s exactly
what it does it allows the military family to get to know the Red Cross before they
actually need our service that’s really good and he said talk
about what your children went through during the whole process of
deployment in and returning home for for your husband
what if the kids girls for while doing my first deployment my
husband’s first deployment I was pregnant so I gave birth while he
was deployed and for the second child he she was born
on Sept 11 September 11th 2001 and he deployed seven days later so I was at home raising a newborn and a
2-year-old dramatic so it’s its join the separation they don’t get to know who dat yes so
he’s a complete stranger when they come home and as they became older a it was just
that separation and they have to get to know him all
over again they don’t understand that daddy’s gone
and we don’t know how long he’ll be gone and
we don’t know when he’s coming home but it’s just reattaching to him and
getting to know him all over again how long were the stretches up deployment it depends and normally six months we had one year where he was gone a a
totaled nine months so it varied each year and to the adults it doesn’t seem Barbara like well that’s not that long
to have to go it alone on for the for the spouse who’s at home
or for the child who’s at home but the services that you
provide your office provides our vital because yeah I I was I was saying before we we
started the program you know even taking a little vacation
the kids alike when we getting there time is not the same for a child yeah I
think the issue deployment really it’s so
different for every family yes a different based on the gender the
child the age in the child the temperament of the child in the fine yet family dynamics 0 one
program is not going to be a cookie cutter and really serves the majority above the
the pro other families in in your case in the sack you
know we learned a lot about separation and as a result I’ve 911 in the long
term separations for babies and toddlers and we actually have a program called
coming together on military families that we partnered with zero to three
which is a national organization that looks at infants and toddlers and
their families and we recognize that though separations
that attachment as critical at that time in a child’s life
yeah and so we you try don’t think about how we could
help the parents stay connected to the child in the child connected to the parent
even though they were provable yeah how do we do this because it’s
really important so as you say reconnect after eighteen months or nine
months the dad are the mom is not a stranger
backpack definitely and during that time away you the parent
who’s at home with the children you feel like a single parent in the kid is one
and Wednesday adding a mommy coming home what sort of things manifested in the
household a specifically for your children what
concerns you that made you definitely seek out those services I knowing that they don’t know when
that’s coming home .org.es if yeah and keeping them
occupied keeping them focus on you know because
we can’t say in the Navy you can’t say where he’s going you know across the board in the
military can’t say where they’re going and so keeping the focus a on other things not so much on how long
a daddy’s gonna be gone and that he’s actually not here so we had to seek out um different opportunities to keep them
occupied and want two things that I want to make sure
that my children have voice who sometimes they don’t you know we
don’t ask the kids how they feel but is finding services allow them to
have a voice and they they can express themselves
they can express the anger they can express the separate separation anxiety cell I
know a lot love attention is given of course to the
but the service member who was away and who’s dealing with um serving his or her country on and then
we focus on the the spouse who’s at home the parent is
at home and then I think that society really doesn’t really it get it arm a lot that the kids really om het a go through a lot more than we
think about I and we really need is 0n paulette on on making sure the key IDs get
everything that they need and just having of the parent at home
isn’t always enough right in front think we have armory
Lincoln family programs we have pre- and post-deployment our programs where they teach
age-appropriate children are classes for children 5 into adult yeah
I’m a teacher age-appropriate how to handle
pre-deployment what to expect are so the kids actually its cash at get
them one-on-one a look at it h5 it in a get that piece
what to expect mom your dad is going away arm your things to expect with mommy
daddy comes back to we talk about reintegrating into the
family I’m a teacher about this city’s and respect how the family roles may change them how to kiss
me I just how to re the it there I wasn’t the easiest way to
reintegrate that military member that’s been absent
from the family for however long that deployment uses that want her empower children yeah absolutely about instilling a sense
of confidence and them through by building on their strengths and so
one way we do that in them at the American Red Cross is we have a
course which is the only nationally develop course designed specifically for military families um experiencing a
deployment we talk about like you said the changing
family dynamic yahoo.com you know we also draw on the richness of
the the experience of the Military Child they are global citizens and they have
experiences that their civilian counterparts don’t their exceptionally mature their bright
they’re resilient children and I we’d like to build on
that by you know putting them in leadership
positions in their communities and we invite them into the Red Cross
chapter we have a peer to peer I’m I network I’ll you know when we know
a child or family is going to I’ll make a permanent change of station
into a new community we reach out to that family and invite their children into the red
cross right now we have I’m a volunteer programs all around the
country at military treatment facilities where on military children I’m from him I
believe much like 9th grade 2 um senior level in high school are performing down a service learning
activities in military treatment facilities they’re
working with are our wounded warriors and not err treatment facilities all
around the country it’s fantastic it is it’s richly rewarding for both you know that
though wounded warriors and for the children they are completing
their um their community service requirements for
school um and their you know they’re it’s just the
rich just have the experience that they’re getting on both ends yes and an ECU when when
you sought out the services you found them so beneficial that you became passionate about
becoming a leader in this area talk about that in the the
Ronald Reagan Rugrats tell us we wanna know I because my
husband was serving on the USS Ronald Reagan whose aircraft carrier in San Diego and wanted things that he ever remember him
saying to me was you can either sit at home and wallow in the fact that I’m
deploying or you can become involved and I never realize I would be that
involved but I went to my first meeting and end up being the president of the Family
Readiness Group I and if you know anything about aircraft
carriers their five thousand sailors which means it’s that many families that
as a sign saying and so you overseeing a port in taking
care families giving them the information they need
and so the Ronald Reagan Rugrats one of the
things that we talk about was services are so much focus on spouse s
but we wanted to give the children a voice so what we create
it was the Ronald Reagan Rugrats and and that gave them a opportunity to become involved with other kids who are
just like them yeah it’s nice to know that you’re not the
only one and they were able to come together and do
activities that connected them to the ship we brought them together and did a
banner where they did their handprints and what messages to their parents and
deployed parents and we sent it to the ship and that’s put up in the mess decks
where you can go when you can find your child’s name and the special messages that were
written so we want to make sure that they had a connection to their deployed sailors yes so it was
a wonderful opportunity to give our children who you know I deem them
kinda the the Forgotten suffers because we we want
to focus on the but we forget sometimes I’m so it gave them a voice it gave them
the opportunity to express themselves yeah that’s really cool because you know when on the news to see om a the service member coming back home
and they have that little clip the family’s embracing and hugging and
crying and we think the outside world we think
oh it’s happily ever after but there’s so much that goes on to to reconnecting reuniting those families and making sure those children feel
secure with daddy or mommy coming back home
it’s it’s it’s it’s so important Papa I would like to
add though I love the focus is on military children
and that’s my passion %uh the last 35 years at my yes to life if the strongest predictor of their
success is the parent at home yes we have to take
care the parent a whole family but but really while the while the
service members deployed we really need to know but I would like to say shore up the
house and home are that are the family member who’s
taking care of that child because when they’re strong that childish things
absolutely that that’s really a key point there
that’s a key point there making sure that that I that spouse at
home feel supported supported and empowered ought to be able to do this or whoever
the caregiver might be yeah like because in many cases pilot the
caregiver maybe yes sister brother yeah on are called
mother that was that was the situation at times
with you guys yes and and its is so important to I like
what I miss you said about giving the kids a voice it was so important for
being anyway with my boys my oldest was experiences the most to give him the opportunity it when he
was angry let him express that and let him talk about being upset about daddy being on our
vice versa you know time when I may contact keynote money
being gone and maybe not been able to tell why but that
you know you’re going away and helping them to expert talk about those
things really I think the difference had it is anger
manifest home different ways it age-appropriate home
when he was younger it which is acting out on its cool sometimes get in
trouble you know at a character type behavior sometimes
they were outburst sometimes just disobedience at things so
that’s how you now on things that are out a character for
your child that’s how you know when they’re until it’s in separation anxiety are
having some difficulty with the pier being gone this is a wonderful discussion I look
forward to learning more as well as taking audience questions but
first up let’s watch this I believe they can
serve to their lives issues and challenges that
our military students face anxiety depression abandonment am role
reversal and fear that the parent may not come
home and they ate their defiant I’m and I’m
don’t wanna follow rules when there’s just that one parent there the fact that
they have to maintain certain grades and some other than especially CTR high
school students some other high school students that have to come and to a school their
senior year have their difficulty I have making sure
that they meet that Maryland State graduation requirements and so working
with them and to ensure that they get what they
need and add the fact that they’re just you
such resilient young individuals that work really hard
and and dark concerned very passionate about their parents and what they do I i just
a plot them when it gets to the point that at me
high school or we as counselors feel that the students
need a lot more than just the services that we can provide as a a
normal high school counselor we do work very closely with their for me behavior health clinic as well as
Walter Reed Army Medical Center and that Military Child Education
coalition those organizations help provide psychologists and psychiatrists that
come into our schools and meet with the children and their families and we also have a quick call student to
student which is we train our students to work with our
families they’re coming from the military and get acclimated to our building and
this year actually planning on having a meet-and-greet quarterly so that those new military
since that are coming in we can make sure that the have gotten use the building they’ve
made some connections and so forth and I would imagine that the caregiver
has to make sure that the teacher understands absolutely that is
behavioral challenges are related to absolute missing dad or
mom it is sown and we make sure I made sure that I
would stay in close contact we are very fortunate that many of our
stations that we were a our children went to a military school
per se so the teachers understood but we did
have an opportunity not to live near the base and so when
are oldest son was in school why I make sure that I said in constant
contact with his teacher and said okay daddy is leaving don’t know how he’s how
long he’s going to be gone but just know this is what you need to expect from him
yeah and we work closely with his guidance counselor his teacher to make
sure that they understood that you don’t just categorize held because he’s acting
out because he’s not turn in homework you may be talking back him it does not want to do anything that
day so just so they understood that there are some things
going on and all of the services that you all head up and work with you know provide that therapy that it you can just a kid in a room with a
therapist and say talk about your problems like they do with adults kids need a
different way to release I and and and and have that
voice Tammy for a what we do with our coping with
the play miss a modules is that we we focused not so
much on counseling it’s less about counseling and more about skill-building and so that’s how you
build resiliency in children and that’s how
you build confidence in children yeah sesame seeds Street important part of %uh the whole plan
here well without a doubt the department defense
cannot take care family salon yes we need partners in the community to
step up and help us where we have gaps in our expertise and a Sesame Workshop was
absolutely stellar and bringing forth a way to
communicate with our very youngest children about the issues a separation due to
deployment and do to change whether it’s a physical are
and mental illness and the lastly the third trilogy have
their series is on on grief I’m here it is deployed licence under it do you know what today
is to way years yes it is Thursday buddy it’s also that day we talked about
remember that the day I have to go the new my what’s the beauty of these these and DVD’s in Elmo and Rosita it’s not just for military children its
all children and that’s really important that america recognizes that military
children are america’s children yeah and while
they have the same issues that everybody faces they have
another layer out which is service to their country and and with
resources like that it gives parents and gives the important adults in children’s lives the opportunity to
start talking about those feelings start channeling them in the right
direction so we have we’re very proud to associate our South assessment workshop I think that’s a
great great way of love helping children working with the whole family i wanna talk about a and get your
thoughts on another interesting up one-point and you to cite society looks set you know
serving the country service members as heroes
I’m sure you’ve heard this that no thank you for your service you are one of America’s Heroes but when
children are dealing with a parent whose away or parent to may have perished as a result of
fighting for his or her country did its you gotta kinda tread lightly on on that when the child is still dealing
with that raw emotion can you can you share a little
bit about that whole thought process well fortunately for us we’ve never had to deal with thanks
allows and losing a parent and so but I know that you you do have a service members have been around other family members you need her
injured because I do work on the basement and I do work with military personnel
and so I know that you know families so
often seek out and for the navy its fleet and Family
Support Services there are so many programs that they
have dealing with the wounded warriors and things of that nature and my family we’re teaching our children
about getting back so we have kinda partner we volunteer with
Operation Homefront so we know little bit about a working
with the World Warrior yeah and you know it’s tough to see a parent return missing a limb or dealing with an invisible injury that is a big deal in terms of recovery and and moving on with with life these
programs help the children to better understand
that tough talk about specifics on that you can think up in terms of
what actually you’ve seen encounter helping the
children yet just like the navy at the calibration service and require
Community Services has a variety of our resources available to
assist the family and the children any stage yeah he said I’ll make what may be
occurring at that time delighted and surrounded around military
lifestyle arm so there are depending on we have prevention in
education resources where we teach them about
communication parenting skills on we have anger management stress
management age-appropriate programs for up the
military children we also have arm clinical services if that it rises
to the occasion are providing clinical services to the
family and/or their children on to help them deal with grief and loss
in those issues around om when the service member come back and
maybe injured and we encourage the family counseling as opposed to just individual so which
is really depends on it so it’s a whole gamut of services it
depends on the needs of the family which is what I like about the program half it’s not a cookie-cutter affected its at
several Reidy and we tailor it to the native with the
family yeah needs Red Cross also provides a reconnection
workshop which speak specifically to the re integration
I’m part of the deployment cycle and I’m the components address um such
issues that as establishing communication re: stepped reestablishing intimacy between the
parents um working to anger and things like that so
there’s that there’s the child’s model %uh module as
well on that teaches that the parents or the caregivers how to
work with the children during the reintegration process and
those that courses are offered on Red Cross
chapters all around the country on their group sessions or individual
sessions and they’re free of charge yeah yeah and there’s a lot of research
being done now on how to support children %uh the severely injured so that again
that the parent knows how here sheik continue to parent whether it’s hugging
with your legs forces if you don’t have arms I mean there are
ways to really to occupational therapy but I think what’s important is that
we’re learning on because love the the wonders and medical
science now we have you know its service members returning
with some very horrific injuries so how do you help them to
continue to be that mom or that data that child’s life and that
that child in a season as his or her daughter her
his or her mom and I can remember one straight did I’m
worked on programs for the severely injured for a couple years as a special
assignment and I can remember one mom saying that
you know she was so sad that she would not be able to greater her daughters here any longer be passing
along the head arms and so how do you then what can you do you know how can you still be a mom and
be important in that child’s life that’s really tough about that because
the you take that for granted as a mom another daughter being able to have that
special moment with your child and that’s the sad reality for for a lot up people a lot of people what a has the impact banned from the the support shown by the old Obama
administration specifically Michelle Obama first lady
and Vice President Joe Biden’s wife doctor
Joe Biden they have really been outspoken about
supporting military families as a grateful nation it is our sacred
responsibility to stand by our military children just
as they and their families stand by us from improving the schools
where they learn to strengthening the communities where
they live to supporting the parents & Guardian to raising them president
Obama is committed to ensuring that this administration this everything it can to support our
military children but government can only do so much that
is why we are encouraging our fellow Americans to make time and
find ways to recognize and support the military
children in your community as the mother on the national guardsmen
I have seen firsthand the difference that a small act of kindness can make it can be as simple as reaching out to
the new military family in your neighborhood are connecting with one of the many
organizations dedicated to supporting our service members and their families there’s a role for each and every one of
us in supporting military children let’s mark the month
of the Military Child this year by dedicating ourselves to
honoring in supporting these brave children all year long has that willie have you seen a palpable change and how a military family specifically children get support I know that their is a lot more that we can do and we’re doing more
but has that made any difference yeah I mean it’s its and it’s almost
like the synergy other forces because right
now there’s never been the emphasis on military families at as
with this administration and and they’re joining forces campaign
is trying to build up public awareness yeah I love the needs a military family so
that they’re seen as integral members of that community and how does the community give back to
the service members and their families and to the issues that touch directly on
children is what they’re doing with teacher education her in social work and where their they
actually have programs in our teachers who are going to to college to
learn to be a teacher recognize the needs a Military Child
it’s really that special curriculum so that there there just integrated into that school
environment in the same thing with schools a social work that they
recognize the need some military families so that they’re prepared as they enter
the community to take care I think that’s great yeah and if nothing
else it certainly has raised the consciousness above the community
its shows like this you know I don’t know when in the past
we would have ever seen a conversation around needs a military children so thank you
for doing this and bringing this to the community and my twenty-year my 20-plus years I
won’t say how old I much wavelets years up on being in
uniform and then at a uniform this is probably prime time that I i this is the best on social services that
i’ve seen resources being offered to families on
that i’ve seen in my time around in military’s yeah I think staff that
made a difference yeah I think we have to also consciously
I’m talk about this as you said we have to
because there are so many people far too many people yeah in society who always still not
even aware above our are servicemen and women who
are overseas whether where you know in a
wartime action or not me. we forget we go along about our daily
lives and we’re not tuned in that many people
are still serving I they’re still in Iraq you know where
we’re drawing down in Afghanistan but a far after that we will still have
people serving and I think that and away from
their children think that’s so important because deployments aren’t the only time
that military members may be separated from the children’s didn’t hear you have
time years on temporary duty assignments that they
may have to be away from the home there’s times that they may have to do
and a company to regional tours where they can’t take the family I’m so deployments aren’t the only time
that a military member may be separated and all those stressors come into play
and a week we talked about that as well niece about what to plan it means our
time away from the family it’s not always your you’re serving in
Iraq or Afghanistan but your way home writer what exactly
your way and that’s the key your way and so the issues are the same yeah times have
separation and what those with those break with that brings with
been separated from that P how have your children how are your
children today I why I wanted to ask how are your
children doing farm my children I think it just it well and when I mention early about really
depends on hand barbour also mentioned it took a min to
the child yes other personally other child mild a shout despised to do that he
hated it you know it was always I always had to
give more attention in terms of making sure that he reconnected and
friends ingested and my other one side is an adventure
you know it’s always with an exit dentures so it is really depends on you
really have to know your children you’ll be able to identify I’ll would need to do and what what they need
and sometimes those moves were overseas for the children what not not for the they never were
overseas just my oldest was younger when we’ve it but probably NIH she wouldn’t
cousins preschool okay so he wouldn’t remember being
overseas so we were in the States but still the moves were still significant how how
are your children our children are done wonderful now because daddy is ended his career and no
more deployments and in our youngest two are moving into
the middle school and high school where arena so it’s very
difficult it’s easier when they’re younger they
they can make friends at any time but as they get older it’s a lot more
difficult for them to make friends and it was very hard for them to leave one coz it and moved to another
and you make friends and then your move into another coz so was very hard
for them but now that he’s home and our son is moving into a teenage
arena and so it’s good to have to have a whole new
boss and Mon Mar think that is dead yeah Obama can only take them so far so it’s
wonderful to have him home and he’s integrated back into the family
and so I’m he has his part to play in so it’s they’re doing great
now and when we now have a grandchild so it’s wonderful to not have
to worry about him deploying again and being home for that Grant to
the do the younger children still have that little fear in the background dedica get that
call I don’t think that they realize that
Daddy arm concert always get a call and you
know sometimes you you want to keep them children as long
as you can yell wanna I put that fear into him but it’s just
good knowing that he’s home yeah when they wake up I just for my
daughter giving up one morning and she came out her room and she said I
want my daddy and then she went back and got in the
bed so it’s nice to know when she gets up in the morning he is there its and and the most important at thing about this conversation is that
these resources at the many resources they’re out there are so important to to raising secure children 10 0 absolutely I’ll right now the Red Cross is offering
babysitting course is to children I it’s 11 to 11 and up 30 percent also
call your rather they scatter it again we’re talking about empowering
children right so they can take care of themselves at home with their you know left alone I’m at home they
have life saving skills at their fingertips we r I’m utilizing technology we have it that ap you know these kids are so smart
with everything digital they can download the app and they have
the instructions right there so you know we have a full menu ways to
engage our young people and and to empower them that’s really good
at because I I think also we have to be careful with making sure that our children stay
children as you said because I eat you don’t want your child to think
that he or she is in charge when Daddy on his way and that they have that
responsibility up taking care up the family advanced in town that is very true especially for
older older kids teens yeah where their staff with taking the
parents outplacement and so you have to there’s
a fine line with having them have that experiencing
having the responsibility learning new skills were it’s not pastor developmental %uh
capacity and the other issue I think especially
for younger children is on the parent is still the parent and
you don’t let things slide mmm because I the other parent is
deployed you have to keep them on that developmental trajectory so that they don’t flip of their developmental
path I want you guys to talk individually about some other services
that really thats just specifics on the services
that really helped or are helping our kids um who are
serving two an easy to start with and well for me
it’s and the Family Readiness Group yes I
can’t stick another about the Family Readiness Group because you have those spouses who get
to come together and then you have the children who get
to come together in your all in this together whether you’re enlisted or your officer your you your
spouse is deployed we’re all in it together I’m Operation Homefront armed forces I YMCA is one that we used in California that has so many programs for children I’m and then again and those resources
to help the parents reconnect with those children those are the ones that really stood out
for me that we just really became involved yet there are so many standout programs
I just want you to come to highlight a couple ever right the coping with the
with the planet’s you have heard me mention this over and over
during this I’m program but I want it I just want to reiterate that
it’s the only nationally develop program designed developed
specifically for military families experiencing an appointment I’m you can I access about the modules online at your convenience or you can go
to it after and how bomb a have it delivered in a
classroom environment so I really want to impress upon our ideas
our listening audience are viewing audience to access that that particular resource yes
deal dick pound I would say and I really like to thank
our community partners Red Cross in Operation Homefront are excellent
examples of how the community has stirred up to have our
military families but to the sponsor DOD programs are military one source said and that is 24/7 online and telephonic communication with license clinicians
and and so you can not only access the downloadable
materials but you can also make an appointment to
either a financial counseling are face to face telephonic or online
well we call non-medical counseling so to help with those life skills yeah you’re
feeling lonely you need somebody to talk to are your child you’re having some
communication problems as a parent to a teenager you can talk to a licensed clinician and
they will help you work through those issues and the other one is our military life
at cancer program and that’s with actually embedded
license clinicians doing on medical counseling in our public schools are on installation schools as well as
our child development programs our youth programs that are family
centres so again their license clinicians there for people to go to and
talk to to talk about those life issues that
they need support with at them paulette parenting in general is the hardest job
in the world I but you know for military children and
families we’ve got to make sure we give them what they need we have several programs at Family
Readiness Program a course we also have a new peer support program where we service quote request services
ages families with children ages 0 to five so they offer so they go into the
home these are whole disorders their license clinical social workers
registered nurses or nurse practitioners I may go into the
homes they teach fears about prenatal at the pier if the
children on board on tissue about on prenatal parenting
skills in archery skills age appropriate discipline aren’t just the whole Canada things that
would need to be addressed in teaching about the development stages our children we also have other children
youth and teen program where we assist make sure their children a age-appropriate have age-appropriate
activities and skill-building possibilities in order to
be able to just suggest to moving and all the challenges that come
with the military lifestyle yeah we also have arm
several other programs that across again at the school liaison
program their on helps to address chip educational challenges a those early as those liaisons work with in the
community in with the school districts on to make
sure their children eat the children’s educational needs to be addressed so
again they’re just a gimmick are marked if the FNP program mom exceptional family member program is
for our service members who have immediate family members that may have
disability or educational challenges arm so a medical or educational
challenges is so on they ensure that those that there’s a
continuum of care when those families relocate that they know what their resources are they make
sure they’re the due to say she is that there be
relocated to on also rar available that indication that they have
those resources available to them to address those those spec the specific needs yet and I asked
I ask you all to run down out some other programs because people
outside of the military world on may not know what exists and want may have perhaps a friend who is in need and may not be taking
advantage of those opportunities to get help for their
families much and that’s why I’m so excited about this
program yes all other they didn’t always used to be available
right we have child care services we have taken their ac/dc’s on
installations and for those that are close initialization
we r we Asus with the be’s subsidy fees know a kid its there’s a game that have resources for
those her family & Children’s that they can access in the services are free across do you know
it’s ok rising is in hospital services and it’s really a part of this family
reading a system yes and I think one other things we’re very proud of
this and again over the last 12 10 years and it’s really become a
very robust system of care again our families two-thirds of them
live in the community so it is a community effort to take care absolutely absolutely this is this is
why we’re having this discussion today now we want to turn our attention to the
studio audience for any questions or comments they may have so we want you to give your name and
your organization affiliation and then ask
your question or give your comment good evening ladies my name is Andrew
Chisholm junior I can I am at the University of Wellington I’m a senior actually just retired from
the US Air Force about two years ago and I’m had 23 years in the service
congrats my main concern I’m present wanna thank you for bringing
up to 70% I think this subject a posttraumatic stress to integrate with
the family yeah is a hot topic because I don’t think other people
understand what the service members go through yes well as well who they left behind
you bring up a great point because I and that brings us into talking about the
mental health services that art so vital and free up for the whole entire family to be
able to take advantage love Tammy do you want to start well i’d
I do I say if you find yourself in Nick experience saying extreme
emotional crisis first you gonna contact your
medical authorities yes the first advice I would give to you and then am if you need to contact the
Red Cross to I related emergency communication to a
family member a loved one who can then further assist you in getting the
help they need yeah well and the others the family policy really
looks we’re on the prevention side not the intervention site so we do
programs which are non medical counseling so for example military one source in
the military family life counselors are licensed clinicians but they are not
there’s therapists are two a diagnosis are two get that medications
but they are aware love all the indicators and they can
refer to a higher level of support I think it’s really important there are
resources the National I’m tell health & Teller Technology Center
it’s called t2 has some wonderful free downloadable aP’s for these kinds
of things they have a mood tracker they have something called after
deployment at org which is for not only the service member but also for
the helping professional so they know all the resources that are
available and I think it’s a a really good point
that we have to educate our larger community that we do have our social our service members
reintegrating into society and they have experienced water and they
have experienced combat and so how do we bill that awareness and
know what resources are available so that we in turn can support them and the
children other a who have parents who are suffering have to get the help to understand that you know this is this is a medical issue
and it has to be dealt with its not that easy to just come back home and go back to normal
what is normal you have a new normal surveilling yeah
are one of the things that most proud about
request up what we call our distressed line and
what did the stress I is a 24/7 are hotline that any military member can
call their staff by prior service members so they and they’re trying to
their non-medical cancers their train to are help de-escalate are but they also
have licensed clinical social workers there too oversight so that in case they
need to on do immediate referral where ya some
things that I can tell this quick story about I want to our success stories is that we
had on the service member Colin and he was are ready to commit suicide
is on the side of the road are the awesome thing about it was that
the council was able to keep an eye on the phone we were able to track and by GPS and get
the pool a authorities there on the side of the
road where this a service member was an and be able to get them assistance so
that’s it i pad service at that the stress on its is are
providing we also provide clinical counseling we have licensing defended practitioner celsius
w Salam FT’s on Dell PCs that provide clinical
services for those that are beyond that need a I just preventive
care sure let’s go back to the audience now
hi there what’s your name and your affiliation and and your question or
comment money hero Kravitz on with the American
Red Cross and thank you I’ve struck out that there
is a lot that the community who are not members up the military or their families can do
to help I tammy who is a member of the Red Cross
is a member of something call Tiffany Circle which is a group of women who’d you a number of projects for the
men and women of the military and their families I’m really interested to hear what we as
non-military people in the community can do to help
children in military families great question wants to start it’s like them well I’ll take that yes I am a member I have
a given society called that if a circle with the red cross at the philanthropic organization for me it’s I’m service to
the armed forces it may be international support for now or our disaster or help the safety
services but um overall the American Red Cross is a
humanitarian organization and that’s the under that’s what we want to underscore and so
home up through these financial gifts we are
able to am provide am free training I the courses that i talked so much
about during this segment other coping with the planet’s I’m at
the the financial contributions to help as
to I’m pay these licensed a mental health
professionals to deliver the service is free of charge from
military me family members I would just like to add another
resource the Military Family Research Institute at Purdue recently published a
series love and how to help and in it’s geared
for a particular profession so for several financial counselors are
pediatricians and so I would I would suggest you go to
Google Military Family Resource Institute in find those different professions and
how they can help and actually list additional resources
so that they are aware what the needs are military families at
I think that such a great question because there are so many people
watching who want to help and want to learn you know ways to it
was in which right they can help and this also
continues to keep people engaged that our children
our military families are very special and we’ve got to take care of them let’s
go back to the audience hi there what’s your name and what organization
are you affiliated with anything mixes today her university um ms questions myself for the paint on the
piano and he talked briefly about now trouble that Japan are the difficulties
I guess I say painting children and I’m in this
situation was maybe a greatest difficulty and I’m if you had to talk to yourself acting
well was something that you would probably say to yourself um or what recesses would you look for
that you didn’t know about now and the same take them the greatest difficulty I think where a I can only speak to the Navy is that
when that leaves when the service member leave a you
can’t just pick up the phone and call them I’m and they just cant pick up the phone
and call you so a minute maybe a 30 days before you even
hear from your sailor I’m so that was the biggest difficulty
is getting your children to understand that you just can’t pick up the phone and
called a you can hear his voice right away it may be some time before
you hear from him I’m I don’t know that there’s anything
that I would do differently I’m I think I may
have sought out services faster than I did before I thought that
I could do it on my own I my first pregnancy I just thought I didn’t need the military I will be OK
until he returned and it became very difficult especially after having a
child in having postpartum depression you need that those services you need a
helping hand so if I had to do anything differently
may be seeking out the help they need it to pick up a
challenge is that do you think getting the the family to take advantage of that
resources that are out there and the many new ones
that are coming on board I think some part if it is making them
aware what to say what services are available I I think that’s part of the biggest
challenges I’ll letting them know what’s available
how does have access those services yeah and in their find that once they
know what’s available usually ready to access anything cuz that’s a characteristic of our military
families that they think their strong in there and do it on their own and it’s not that they’re not there
certain circles certain time certain circumstances that it is OK it is okay to ask for help yeah that’s
very very King Mary Kay you awful what you doing are I am and Resource Coordinator for an
organization called better sick wise as local organization in our focus is providing information specifically concern postmasters in depression two
churches and schools colleges and I’ll we are always opened to invitations to do such we had
bounties who provide those services thank you the faith community also being very
important base community is very important to your service members and
their families and and again it’s one of those
organizations that or provide services without stepper yes
I think that’s the that’s the key that stigma is is is tough especially for kids the little ones who called who may feel
a certain amount of embarrassment when the egg when they go out with a parent to who
may have lost a limb a that because society has to do I think
a better job I love I’ll %uh lifting that service member I
think we’re doing better but we can do better my weekend event
sleep always win always room for improvement
okay and and this is my great discussion I
love it I want to a turn our attention now on some final
thoughts from each issue what you want people to leave
here or or to take away from this
conversation that we’re having today because we want to impact people
within them military community and outside of the
the military community do you want to start first pilot I think it’s already been said here that
it’s okay to ask for help in to ask for help when you need it actually before you need it get to know
what resources are available before the crisis happens i think thats okie and making sure that
when I think that really was important to me in the time that I serve was having that
support network as you not always around them yeah I’m so building that support
network around you with those their have those same things in common
are key definitely a Nissan let slide over to
you as I stated before just making sure that
our military children have a voice that they are important that we do focus
on the spouse but just making sure that we do turn our
attention to our young people absolutely Tammy it’s gonna take the
entire community working together to provide that safety net to make sure
that our kids have the best available resources it does take a village and I would just
say I think it’s really important for members of the community to I really know who in their neighborhood
is serving mom and reach out to them and offer
support tonight from what I understand from I hear from military spouses in
particular it’s something practical it’s not you know oh I know their
military family and I’ll bring them a castro it’s like
maybe oh maybe I can take their children to
dance lessons because my husband’s gone and I can’t I don’t have time this
really providing some practical solutions to
some other challenges and they’re great organizations that are
out there doing that like snow removal and things like that that you know when
you’re home alone you have a baby inside you can get out
and shovel that lock oh that’s a great point that is such a great point and it brings
the community together get to know your neighbor and help your neighbor I mean that’s
what we need to do we are community way our community thank you ladies for such a fantastic an important discussion
you have given us some great information to to to help change the world to make it a
better place that’s what it’s all about thank you all for being with us once
again in helping us to to really learn and understand more about this
topic our children well there you have it we
hope that you to have enjoyed this stimulating conversation about military
children and have heard something that inspires you
to keep this dialogue going and take action to learn more about this
program or others in our series please go to our website WWW dot whut dot ort i’ma let green and we will see you next
time on vocal point right here on whut TV idk rule I them with the pink slow con think

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