Jeff Dunham – Arguing with Myself – Peanut | JEFF DUNHAM


– You know what else pissed me off today? – What? – Trying to use my cell phone. – Having trouble? – Just like the stinking commercials. Can you hear me now? How ’bout now? Now, how ’bout now? Now, now, now now. You know what you don’t
hear in those commercials? – What? – The other end of the conversation. (audience laughs) (stammers) (static buzzes) (audience laughs) What a piece of (beep)! (audience laughs) You know what cell phone sex is? – No. – Can you feel me now? How ’bout now? (laughs) – Stop it! (audience laughs and applauds) – This guy’s not getting any of this. I’ve been watching him the whole time, this all going (airplane whoosh) I’m just kidding, buddy, what’s your name? What is your name? I’m (beep) lookin’ right at ya! (audience laughs) Aren’t I? – I think so. (laughs) – Fix my eyes, ass(beep). (audience laughs) It’s hard to talk to somebody if they’re not looking right at ’em. – I know. – It’s like trying to talk to somebody who has a lazy eye, you don’t
know which eye to focus on. You ever done that, you’re
sitting there talking to ’em thinking “aw, crap, should
I be looking at that eye, “or that eye?” (audience laughs) Focus, you moron! (audience laughs) What? – What if someone here has a lazy eye? – I’ll confuse ’em. Here I am, over here! Here, here, here! (audience laughs)

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